Present Imperfect

Gimli Ate My Junior Mints

December 18, 2003

Oops...so long without a blog entry, so very few people disappointed.

I was going to copy a passage from Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things and a passage from Lord of the Rings for a little "hmmm, though they are from disparate sources, those are oddly similar" moment, but I generally write blog entries at work and the actual book items are at home. If I can be bothered later, I will do it. No, really, I will. And again, who cares?

Anyhoo, Tuesday I took the day off work to indulge my not-so-inner-geek with the 12-hour "Trilogy Tuesday" presentation of all three LOTR movies in a row. Some memorable moments? Sure:

1. As we were waiting to enter the Cineramadome, we took note of a sign advising us to "leave all bulky packages in your car." This precipitated penis jokes from Bill and Jeremy. "I guess we can't go in!" Later, we began referring to Bill as "Bill the Pony."

2. I saw my college friend Jessica outside before the movies began. I called out (like you do) "Jessica!" She looked bewildered and then acknowledged me by explaining that "Jessica" is no longer her name. We exchanged numbers, but that was dumb, because I feel fairly certain that neither of us will call the other. I was happy to see her, but every time I saw her after that (concession stand, line, lobby, etc.), I was unable to call out to her because it took my brain too long to register that the person who looked just like Jessica was not "Jessica." Oh well. It's been 10 years. I probably won't see her again until the next epic fantasy film premieres at the ArcLight. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, anyone? Incidentally, she is called Finn now.

3. I saw an Boromir and two Arwens eating hot pretzels smothered in mustard after the second film. Way to stay in character and preserve the mystery, folks. It makes you long for a good RenFair where people are at least forced to drink mead and eat giant turkey legs.

4. There were lots of news cameras around. Los Angeles has the bestest news! It's a good thing small droplets of water weren't falling mysteriously from the sky, or that would have led the hour, displacing the otherwise red-hot "people waiting in a line to see a movie" story.

5. Sala Baker, the Dark Lord Sauron, was there. That was cool. That Bruce Vilanch-looking guy with the glasses and the Hawaiian shirt was there. That was not cool. Who is that guy?

6. Spontaneous applause for (BEWARE, SPOILERS! Oooh, that was exciting!):

the New Line logo (?), the "Lord of the Rings" title and the individual film title in all three films

the forming of the Fellowship in FOTR

Aragorn chopping off Lurtz's head FOTR

Gandalf's first appearance as Gandalf the White in TTT

Legolas getting on the horse in TTT

The elves arriving at Helm's Deep in TTT

Gandalf's arrival on Shadowfax at Helm's Deep in TTT

Aragorn unsheathing Anduril for the first time (no "bulky package" jokes, please) in ROTK

Theoden telling Aragorn that "Rohan will answer" to Gondor's beacon fires in ROTK

Gandalf knocking Denethor upside the head with his staff in ROTK

Pippin killing an orc in ROTK

Eowyn and Merry dispatching a mumakil in ROTK

Legolas spectacularly dispatching a mumakil in ROTK

Eowyn's "I am no man!" revelation in ROTK

Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas (and friends) arriving by boat in ROTK

Practically every appearance of Sam in ROTK. The highlight reel includes: Sam and Shelob, Sam carrying Frodo, Sam making a move on Rosie Cotton, Sam simply walking through a doorway. He's just that good.