I know this article from the New York Times about the maiden voyage of the QM2 isn't supposed to be funny, but I found it hilarious. $15,000 well spent, I think. Here are some highlights (edited slightly for maximum guffaws):
Monday, Jan. 12 After the safety drill, we stand atop the ship bundled in the chilly evening breeze, looking out over Southampton. Although we are meant to sail at 5:30, the smooth voice of the staff captain announces an hour's delay: baggage loading problems.
Tuesday, Jan. 13 Our first night aboard is virtually sleepless as the storm rages. A steel door clangs incessantly below our balcony. Most of our party remains in bed today as the wind howls and the boat groans and pitches. Our off-the-menu request for chicken broth at lunch is denied; it is on tonight's dinner menu, but somehow can't be heated up early. The steward apologizes profusely and makes it available for lunch tomorrow, by which time we hope it won't be necessary. We settle for tuna club sandwiches. Later, as my father, ever a Curious George, tries to go out on his balcony to observe an oncoming wave, the ceiling of my parents' cabin falls in because of a wind-tunnel effect. They spend the afternoon with us while the maintenance crew works on it. Amid more profuse apologies, the chief purser admits that the ship and its crew have not experienced such weather.
Thursday, Jan. 15 Back on board, my attempt to get a pedicure is thwarted by a burst hot water pipe on Deck 9 (also our cabin deck). The salon apologetically reschedules me for the same time tomorrow. Walking back to my cabin I spot a large red bucket catching drops from the ceiling three doors down.
Friday, Jan. 16 This morning we motor into the port of Santa Cruz on Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. At 8:25 a man calls to apologize that the breakfast we had ordered for 8 a.m. would not be delivered for another 30 minutes. Would we still like it? Declining, we race to the Kings Court, the cafeteria-style buffet, and wolf down cereal and coffee before meeting our group.
Saturday, Jan. 17 We get set to head straight for the Kings Court when my husband asks if I've seen his watch. His wedding band was on it - he took them off before his weightlifting session at the gym last night. When we have sufficiently torn apart the room, I page Nora, who calmly asks if we have checked all our pockets. Yes, four times at least. She reports the loss and schedules a meeting with the head security officer for this evening. As darkness falls and fireworks light the sky, security officers arrive to search our room and "interrogate our doorlock" with a reader that can tell whose cards have been used to enter the room. The security officer emerges from our closet with the watch and ring; they were in my husband's pants pocket after all. We apologize and thank the officers profusely. I get the feeling that they've been through this before.
Sunday, Jan. 25 Because of a frustrating problem with the tender boats, we stay on board all day Saturday while in St. Thomas.
Monday, Jan. 26 We've royally enjoyed this great ship.
Coincidentally, the dictionary.com Word of the Day is languor, whose secondary definition is noted as "listless indolence, especially the indolence of one who is satiated by a life of luxury or pleasure."
You can find more of the interesting word usements I structure on Apple.com.
Read my article, Better Writing Through Design, on No. 242 of A List Apart.