Present Imperfect

...Was Once New Amsterdam | June 03, 2004

Things I Did in New York

1. Jumped on a trampoline for hours with my five-year-old nephew. Here's a tip: Jump on a trampoline for hours, then get off the trampoline and try to jump just ONCE on solid ground. It's profoundly disturbing, like that thing where you stretch your arms out, palms in, against a doorframe for 30 seconds and then step away from the doorframe and your arms fly up in the air on their own.

2. Ate meat. A lot of it. With reckless abandon.

3. Drove to Massachusetts. See, I always wanted to go to Walden Pond. So we did. It was rainy and I caught a cold. But man, did I live deliberately. I also learned from my stepmother about this series of books for kids. They're really great little books featuring a bear named Henry (as in David Thoreau) and his adventures hiking to Fitchburg and building a cabin and generally gettin' his big hairy butt in touch with nature. Nowhere in them does he shit in the woods, however.

4. Had tea. You can never have too much tea, especially of the capital-T variety that comes with scones and fresh berries with cream. I should mention that Concord, Massachusetts, where we had said tea, is just the sweetest little town full of rich white people I have ever seen! You simply must go. Seriously, though, that place puts the "id" in "idyll."