Oh my god. This is the most boring Super Bowl ever, and I'm not just saying that because the Steelers aren't in it and I'm bitter. Paul "Old Man Hair" McCartney was boring, the commercials are boring and the football is just sloppy. What I'd give for an exposed boob about now! I even found myself inexplicably wishing Sir Paul would invite Jay-Z up for a raptastic version of "Hey Jude." (Which reminds me that "Beautiful Boy" came up on the iPod recently and I thought of how that song should be subtitled "Screw You, Julian, Sean Gets His Own Song and Some Guy Who Wasn't Even Your Dad Had to Write You One.") And now the stupid smelly Patriots are leading. The least my home state could do for me footballwise is to beat the crap out of those no-awesome-sandwich-having bastards.
Smirk-inducing inadvertent PMS reference update: Todd Pinkston apparently has a "case of the cramps."
Truck as penile compensation reference update: The new Ford F-150 (Uh, I think. I wasn't paying much attention, frankly.) is six inches longer.
Super Bowl-unrelated overuse of quotation marks ironically appearing in a corporate communications bulletin update: Colleen's Corner at Southwest Airlines. (It's a shame that Colleen's name doesn't start with a "K" because she looks exactly like the type of person who would love to call her column "Kolleen's Korner.")
Lameass clock management update: What the crap are the Eagles, down 24-14, doing huddling up with 2:49 and counting left in the fourth quarter?!
Chris Collinsworth irritates me like fingernails on a chalkboard update: If you're so in love with those "young corners," Chris, why don't you just MARRY THEM?!
Bronwyn's Super Bowl wrap-up: It's a sad day when Burt Reynolds getting kicked in the 'nads by a bear is the best thing about the NFL championship game. At least Ben got a trophy. I'm hungry.
Super Bowl postscript: Hey! Comic Book Guy's name is Jeff Albertson!
You can find more of the interesting word usements I structure on Apple.com.
Read my article, Better Writing Through Design, on No. 242 of A List Apart.