God, I’m glad it’s April 2nd.
I have this thing. I sort of hate April Fool’s Day. Because when you’re a full-time fool, it would be nice to have just one day a year when people weren’t making you feel especially dumb. I’ve spent a good portion of my life trying to hide the fact that I am a bit of a moron. I don’t want the veil lifted, even for a mere 24 hours.
Remember when I asked my friend to move her car so that I could jumpstart it? Or the golden day when I stuck frozen (don’t ask) Hershey’s Kisses — foil and all — into the microwave to thaw them out? Ooh! And howabout that time I kindly picked a vicodin-impaired friend up from the hospital, took him to the 7-11 for some electrolyte-renewing Gatorade, then locked the keys in the car with the engine running? Good thing there was a police cruiser in the parking lot!
And if you’re thinking “Oh please, Bronwyn. Those are just run-of-the-mill stupid things,” may I just say that I have some pride and have only related the amusing “Dear me! Where is my head?!” anecdotes, rather than publicly admitting any of the many spectacularly stupid things I’ve done in my life. With my life. To my life. Pick a preposition.
So, yesterday rolled around, I remembered that it was April Fool’s Day and I panicked. I’m a sensitive soul. I’m also a Gulla Bull. And there’s just something sad about forcing yourself to be distrustful of everyone for an entire day. I want to trust people. I want to believe that people don’t lie to me, that people like me, that I’m a well-respected, intelligent person who would never, say, fall on her drunken ass in a karaoke bar. Last month.
Anyway, nothing happened.
But it made me reflect enough to blog, and to suggest that you happy few readers take this opportunity to share One Stupid Thing with me. I’m not asking you to go all daytime talk show on my ass. Just throw me a bone and tell me how you got caught shoplifting Pixie Stix or accidentally left off the parking brake. (The answer’s “no,” in case you were wondering. I’m just trying to get the ball rolling here.)
You can find more of the interesting word usements I structure on Apple.com.
Read my article, Better Writing Through Design, on No. 242 of A List Apart.