Present Imperfect

read.

Heads I win, tails you lose.

July 14, 2006

I just want to take a few minutes to sing the praises of the ad hominem retort.

Abandon all reason, ye who enter here! Let us no longer concern ourselves with trifling matters of “fact” or “knowledge.” Let us respond to well-crafted arguments with irrelevant observations about our opponents’ hairstyles, their olfactory presence or the moral fortitude of their mothers. Observe, gentle reader:

Them: “I think this project needs some reworking. It just seems a little off target to me.”
You: “Oh, you do? Well, your FACE seems off target to me.”

Them: “Say what you will about President Bush, but I think his economic policies are sound.”
You: “That’s an interesting observation. For a moron.”

Them: “Are you going to eat that pickle?”
You: “I don’t know. Is your mom done with it yet?”

See how satisfying that is? Much better than, say, “I’ll have to take a longer look at the research and get back to you,” “I completely disagree with that assertion,” or “plaid, thanks?”

Written elsewhere

You can find more of the interesting word usements I structure on Apple.com.

Read my article, Better Writing Through Design, on No. 242 of A List Apart.