Present Imperfect

I am a donut. | September 27, 2006

I’m sure Eddie Izzard isn’t the first person to observe — in reference to President Kennedy’s 1963 “ich bin ein Berliner” declaration — that succeeding as a public speaker is “70 percent how you look, 20 percent how you sound, and 10 percent what you say,” but he is certainly the best dressed. In any case, I was reminded of this sketch as I listened to Terry Gross interview Ben Affleck on Fresh Air yesterday. Not because Ben Affleck is arguably the most overrated actor of his generation. Not because he has built a career almost entirely upon that first 70 percent. What struck me about the Affleck interview is that, much to my chagrin, his dimpled chin may not actually be seven times more important that what issues forth just above it.

I have no idea if “Hollywoodland” will disprove my theory that Ben Affleck is a bad actor. I now know, however, that the guy is not a complete dumbass. He was articulate and insightful on Fresh Air, and that’s pretty hard to fake — at least on the receiving end of a radio interview. And as I listened to him not suck, it occurred to me that there is another place where the 70-20-10 rule doesn’t wash.

In print.

If it weren’t for the Flickr set on this page, you’d have no idea what I look like. I am much too lazy to podcast, so it’s unlikely you will ever hear what I sound like. (Of course, both of these assertions are based on the probably erroneous assumption that “you” are not someone I already know.) All you have to go on is the combination of 26 letters of the Latin alphabet I have arranged to form sentences on this site. In a sense, I write before you naked.

Even more naked than Jennifer Lopez in at an awards ceremony.