I'm a master of trivial obsession. Whether or not Popeye went AWOL. Why the bartender at the Mos Eisley cantina throws C-3PO and R2-D2 out on the grounds that "we don't serve their kind here," when they're droids who can't drink anything anyway. And lately, the disparity in usage between a particular word and its alleged antonym.
See, we use "coward" to describe someone who is guilty of a broad range of inaction. "Hero," though. It's harder to throw that word around.
Calling yourself a coward because you didn't ask that cute clerk in the bookstore out for coffee won't elicit raised eyebrows. But walking out of a bar with someone's digits smeared inside the damp ring on a cocktail napkin doesn't make you a hero, either.
Heroes save old ladies from burning buildings. They stay on the front line until ordered to retreat, even as their comrades-in-arms fall around them. They write the best pop songs ever. They may have also disposed of a large hairy spider or eaten haggis, but these acts are not standalone hero material.
Is all this a symptom of a sloppy use of language? Or is it just another example of how alive and malleable language can be? I prefer to believe the latter. But I also believe in parity. So if we're going to be all loosey goosey with "coward," let's deconsecrate "hero" to match. The mail carrier who brings you spoils from an online shopping spree? Hero. The friend who told you you had a bit of spinach in your teeth? Hero. The bartender who comps your second round? Major hero.
All hail, non-cowards everywhere! Rejoice in your most meager effort! Lower your expectations and raise your spirits!
You can find more of the interesting word usements I structure on Apple.com.
Read my article, Better Writing Through Design, on No. 242 of A List Apart.