Present Imperfect

Writin’ a blog post. | January 03, 2008

Whilst tossing the lid to my Wallaby lowfat strawberry yogurt into the trash can today, I said the following: “I’m gonna throw this in here.”

I do this All. The. Time. It’s like I feel obligated to fill any empty space with words, even if those words amount to nothing more than completely useless commentary on what I’m currently doing.

“Puttin’ on my headphones.”

“Goin’ to the kitchen.”

“Lookin’ for my Sharpie.”

“Delete!”

I rarely make New Year’s resolutions, but as this is occurring to me so close to January 1st, I think I’m going to try to be more respectful of the space words occupy instead of letting them pile up in the air like non-biodegradable disposable diapers or those hangery things that hold new pairs of socks together.

I will also endeavor to curb my use of cheap vending machine trinkets such as “like,” “sweet,” and “awesome,” as they seem somewhat undignified for a woman of my advancing age.

I will likely fail to do either of these things. But at the very least, I will think more about where my words come from and if they should be wasted on something like “now, where are my keys?”

Maybe I should just blurt out non sequiturs that have nothing to do with my current actions. I could sharpen a pencil (something I practically never do) and say “just walkin’ the gerbil.” Or put on my coat and say “Pinchbeck!” That way, I could usher underused words into the world. So they can get out. Stretch their consonants. Get some exercise.

Snaffle!